Saturday, December 19, 2015

LUNCH IN CHONGSAN CITY IN GUANGDONG PROVINCE, CHINA NEAR CANTON. BILLY LEONG OF BMC TRAVEL TOOK ME AND FRIENDS TO WORLD FAMOUS PIGEON RESTAURANT CALLED SHI QI LAO WHICH SERVES NOT ONLY TASTY PIGEONS BUT ALSO TORTOISE, TURTLE. SNAKE. EEL, FROG AND KOI, ALL SWIMMING, WRITHING AND WRIGGLING IN HUGE URNS, JARS AND CAGES! THIS IS CHINA!

KEE@FSWMAG.COM
SHIQI LAO IS ONE OF THE MOST FAMOUS AND OUTRAGEOUS RESTAURANTS IN ALL CHINA AND POSSIBLY WORLD AS IT IS A COMBINATION OF MASS MARKET RESTAURANT, WET MARKET, FISH STALL, THEME PARK, SUPERMARKET, CHILDREN'S PLAYGROUND AND CHILDREN'S PLAYGROUND CUM PASAR MALAM!

Shiqi Lao is as tacky and wacky as they come, which explains its strange, reverse-snobbery appeal! I am told it is not listed in Michelin guide to fine dining or Britain's 'World's Best 50 Restaurants' or 'Le Liste' but the food here is awfully delicious and frightfully cheap by Hong Kong standards which is why many from horriby expensive Hong Kong endure the 3.5 hour bus ride to gorge on fine food at Shiqi Lao!

Even by our worthless ringgit standard, Shiqi Lao is very de reasonable and cannot be accused of overcharging. 

The whole set-up is as cina-apek as they come too so you need speak Mandarin or Cantonese as none of the staff speak England so to speak! 

As I am Hokkien, I see no reason to learn Mandarin or Cantonese. At ShiQi Lao, I went searching for a toilet and asked a waitress who shook her head. So being polite, I did a washing gesture to my face as many splashed water on their faces after washing their hands after peeing.

The waitress looked enlightened and smiled and ushered me to follow her. So I did and was taken to a table and given a menu. She thought my gesture meant eating or feeding my face!

So I said, "Toilet, washroom, WC, Gents, bathroom", hoping she would understand one of these words.

She waved equally wildly and gave me a name card which I thought contained her name and phone number for sex. But no, it was address of Shiqi Lao restaurant but I was already there! She struggled manfully, "You telephone, operator can English"! 

I was to phone the restaurant as the operator was sole person who could speak English!

In despair and as a last resort I pointed to my groin and pressed my (limp) member. I assumed she would understand that particular organ needed to pee since I was pointing and pressing it!

No, she even failed to comprehend that! 

Initially I worried she might misinterpret that as an obscene gesture and might slap me or call the police. Instead she became coquettish and coy, giggling slightly and actually misconstrued it as an invitation to bed! 

So I gave up and fled, knowing sooner or later I would find the loo which I eventually did!

Some tables are shaped like sampan or perahu to signify the origin of Chongsan (or Zongshan)
as a fishing village. Another section had tables enclosed inside what seemed like bird cages in honour of the fried pigeons for which they are so famous.

I also took photos of live creatures waiting to be picked and cooked and eaten! The pigeons were nowhere to be seen and presumably kept elsewhere as fine pigeon feathers or pigeon down floating in the air might cause asthma or seen as unhygienic.

However, I saw carp and various species of fish plus eels, snakes, frogs, mussels, clams, tortoises and turtles. The last two upset me since they were quite big and must have taken 5 years to reach such sizes. I was particularly distressed to see a big turtle with a very long tail the size of a large laptop! I felt like buying them all to set them free but they would be recaptured and sent back to Shiqi Lao!

When dining here, you must order the roast pigeon, pineapple buns with incredibly delicious fruit inside and giant dough puff balls the size of footballs. You will see the giant, brown puff balls being fried at the entrance so they are unavoidable. It takes skill to ensure each puff is evenly fried, cooked and round. Sticky rice inside each brown ball that resembles a balloon acts as ballast inside so the puff stays put on its plate as you slowly slice, dissect and consume it.

Shiqi Lao restaurant
66 Shiqi Kanghuo road
Zhongshan (Chongsan)
0760-8870 7708

 SHIQI LAO IS ONE GAUDY AND GARISH RESTAURANT AS PROVEN BY THIS TACKY LIFESIZED STATUE OF AN OSCAR SHAPED AS CHEF WEARING TORQUE! FLANKED BY COLOURFUL CARTOONISH FIGURES REPRESENTING PIGEONS!
 LOOKS LIKE YOUR NEIGHBOURHOOD GROCER
 PASSAGE LIKE IN A FISHING VILLAGE
 CHOOSE YOUR LIVE FISH
 MR AND MRS PIGEON, I PRESUME
 FRESH VEGETABLES TO ACCOMPANY THE FISHY DELIGHTS

 AQUARIUM
 FRESH



 TRADITIONAL CANTON KUEH
 KUAN KUNG IS WORSHIPPED HERE AS HE IS GOD OF BUSINESS AND WEALTH
 BIRD CAGE TABLES WITH SIGNS WARNING OF PICKPOCKETS!
 BIRDCAGE PAVILIONS
 FIRST TIME I SAW A FOOT FLUSH PLACED IN  FRONT OF TOILET BOWL
 IS THAT A SAMPAN?
 YES THEY ARE INDEED
 BIRD CAGES
 SAMPAN
 KUAN KUNG
 AUTHENTIC

 YUM



 OUR TORTOISE SOUP COMES WITH SHELL AS PROOF
 PINEAPPLE BUNS
 FISH DISH THAT IS CHIPPED AND CRACKED
 STRINGBEANS

 WORLD FAMOUS PIGEONS
 STARS OF THE SHOW
 LETTUCE SO LOVELY

 OYSTERS

 ISABEL AND BONNE LIM WEAR ALLOCATED PLASTIC GLOVES TO EAT THE ROAST PIGEONS AS USING FINGERS IS THE BEST AND MOST DEXTEROUS WAY TO ENJOY THEM!




 TUCKING IN
 BONNE LIM ENJOYING HER BIRD
 ISABEL EATING HER BIRD






 ROAST PIGEON
 ZHONGSHAN'S BIG DELICACIES


 TAI MING CHEE AT WORK





 BIG FAT HO CHIEN 
 3 PIGEONS!



 THESE PRETTY TORTOISES WITH LOVELY PATTERNED SHELLS MUST HAVE TAKEN AT LEAST 5 YEARS TO REACH THIS SIZE ONLY TO BE EATEN! I AM VERY AGAINST EATING TORTOISES AND TURTLES AS THEY TAKE SO LONG TO GROW AND IF YOU ARE FAT, UGLY, SHORT AND STUPID, YOU REMAIN FAT, UGLY, SHORT AND STUPID AFTER EATING THEM! SO WHY BOTHER? EAT KFC OR McD!
 CREEPY CRAWLIES
 I WAS SHOCKED TO DEATH TO FIND THIS RARE, LONG TAILED TURTLE IS ALSO ON THE MENU! PLEASE DON'T BUY AND EAT IT---THINK OF YOUR KARMA. EATING THIS WILL NOT DELETE YEARS OFF YOUR FACE OR LENGTHEN YOUR LIFE OR PREVENT ANY DISEASES!
 SNAKES! AIYEE!
 BIG, FAT, UGLY, BLACK FROGS FOR YOUR DINING PLEASURE
 EAT THEIR WARTS AND ALL

 LOVE THE MARKINGS ON THEIR SHELLS
 CANNOT BELIEVE SOME CHINKS ARE HAPPY AND PREPARED TO KILL AND EAT THEM! THEN AGAIN, THE CHINESE ALWAYS SAY THEY ARE ALLOWED TO 'EAT ANYTHING WITH THEIR BACKS FACING HEAVEN' WHICH MEANS THEY CAN EAT EVERYTHING EXCEPT HUMANS SINCE HUMANS WALK UPRIGHT AND THEIR BACKS DO NOT FACE HEAVEN (I.E SKY) AS OUR HAIR FACE THE SKY! WHOEVER CAME UP WITH THIS DOGMA?


 SCARY, EERIE BUGS ADN DUNNO WHAT ELSE

 SAFETY IN NUMBERS---THESE FISH FLOCK TOGETHER IN AN ATTEMPT TO BE SAFE AND PROTECT EACH OTHER. SO SAD LOOKING AT THEM
 DO THEY KNOW IT IS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE THEY ARE PICKED AND KILLED AND EATEN? VERY BAD FENG SHUI FOR THE DINERS. WE SHOULD JUST ORDER FISH BUT NEVER POINT AND CHOOSE AT A PARTICULAR PISCEAN! 

 SNOWBALLS FOR DESSERT FILLED WITH RED BEAN PASTE, VERY DE NICE
 BILLY LEONG CUTS THE SNOWBALLS


 EMPEROR BILLY LEONG OF BMC TRAVEL SDN BHD WITN MUZAKKIR MOKHTAR, BONNE LIM AND ISABEL AND MR AND MRS PIGEON

 DATO KEE HUA CHEE AND PIGEON PALS
 3 CUTIE BIRDIES
 TAI CHEE MING
 MAKING GIANT PUFF BALLS 
 THE BROWN BALLOONS GET BIGGER

 BILLY LEONG AND PIGEON PALS

 ZHONGSHAN CITY CENTRE




 EMPEROR MUZAKKIR MOKHTAR AND HIS 2 CONCUBINES AND 1 MINISTER

 ANOTHER COURT OFFICIAL JOINS IN

 CHONGSHAN CENTRE FOR SHOPPING
 TAI CHEE MING, ISABEL, BILLY LEONG, MUZAKKIR MOKHTAR AND BONNE LIM
 SHOWTIME IN CHONGSHAN?






 EROTIC POSE















PEACEFUL SLUMBER

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