KOH SAMUI; BIG COCK, WET CUNT AND LIMP DICK!

KEE@FSWMAG.COM

2 COCKS AND 1 CUNT, LARGER THAN LIFE ON KOH SAMUI ISLAND---WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?

IN ADDITION, THE PENISES ARE BIG AND THE VAGINA MOIST AND ALWAYS WET!

LET'S FACE IT. SOME OF YOU READING THIS, OR MAYBE MOST, GO TO THAILAND FOR SEX, WITH SHOPPING, DINING AND TOURING THROWN IN AS BONUSES. EVEN SO, YOU WOULD ONLY HAVE SEX WITH MEN AND WOMEN BUT IN THE ENCHANTING ISLAND OF KOH SAMUI ONLY 2 HOURS DIRECT FLIGHT FROM KLIA BY BANGKOK AIRWAYS, EVEN ROCKS GET INTO THE ACT!

INTRODUCING HIN TA AND HIN YAI, THE PAIR OF SENSATIONAL ROCKS THAT RESEMBLE A PENIS AND VAGINA PLUS A THIRD ROCK FORMATION THAT LOOKS LIKE A LIMP PENIS COMPLETE WITH PUBIC HAIR! OK THE PUBIC HAIR IN THIS CASE ARE THE BUSHES AND SHRUBS THAT CLUSTER CONVENIENTLY AT THE TOP THUS GIVING THE EERIE RESEMBLANCE OF THICK, ER, BUSHY PUBIC HAIR THAT NEEDS SOME SHAVING!

This is Hin Ta or Grandfather Rock aka Erect Cock!

From the main viewing platform this is how Grandfather Rock aka Hard Penis looks like

3 cocks here!

When they say 'Stick it up your ass' I think this is what they mean

From the correct angle, I can practically touch the Cock Rock!

See, now I am touching the Erect Cock!

Now I am grabbing the dick!

I took this photo myself while my trusty Canon EOS 500D in one hand and penis in another! Multi-tasking at its best!
This is the infamous and world renowned Hin Yai or Grandmother Rock that comes complete with its own clitoris as you can clearly see here! Mind you, it took me ages to shoot this as I had to wait for the waves to recede!

Voila, the Chibai Rock!

Grandmother Rock seems rather inaccurate as the vagina is always moist and wet!
I almost fell into the Gulf of Siam while taking this Vagina Rock!
This Vagina Rock is clearly having an orgasm as can be clearly seen by the spray at the top! No wonder I almost fell into the sea from sexual arousement!

The Cunt Rock taken from above as the ladies check out the similarity

This is the Unhappy Cock! You can clearly see the limp penis so well defined and etched into the rock face as if carved on purpose while the trees and bushes act as pubic hair!

This poor girl couldn't take it anymore at the sight of the Sad Cock but why does she have to cover her ears I wonder

A close-up of the Limp Cock! Nice mushroomy cockhead it has!

You couldn't mistake this for anything but a penis that has just ejaculated all its sperm and is all spent, tired, limp and flaccid! Can you?

Kee Hua Chee is very happy as his dick is in good condition with great mushroom cock head, unlike this Sad Cock Rock!

Kee Hua Chee empathizing with the Unhappy Cock


Since I heard about Hin Ta and Hin Yai, I insisted on going to the spot there and then upon arrival at Koh Samui Airport as anything that reeks of sex arouss me immediately. However I had to wait for the next day and the group had to live with my whining and whinging.

Hin Ta means 'Grandfather' and Hin Yai is 'Grandmother' in Thai but there is no specific name for the third rock which is loosely called 'Unhappy Cock' due to its limp, all-drained out nature!

Located on Lamai beach (though swimming is not advisable here due to the many jutting and submerged rocks) Hin Ta and Hin Yai are the island's most popular sights. Not only is it free but they are formed by good natured Mother Nature during one of her good moods!

Many tourists are flummoxed at the sight of these rocks as they certainly poke fun at Thailand's sex industry on a monumental scale and are out there for all to gawk, gasp and go gaga. No holds barred, no sneaky innuendos here! Just straight in your face resemblance of your most vital assets without which life is not worth living.
Mind you Hin Ta and Hin Yai and Unhappy Cock are not half a metre big or life-sized like your 5-inch cock which can be found probably in your garden or backyard if you look hard enough.

No sirree, they are impressively huge and can be seen from half a kilometre. Hin Ta is nearly 3 metres tall and Hin Yai is a gigantic slit in the rock face facing the turbulent sea measuring also 3 metres. As for Sad Cock, it is even bigger as it is a hillock with the limp dick resting right at the top and ahem, hanging downwards at the side.

There; as I arrived, I saw Sad Cock at my left, Wet Pussy (Hin Yai) right in front and Erect Cock (Hin Ta) to my right!

I was so excited I almost passed out!

As all three are ever so conveniently next to each other and within plain sight of each other, I was convinced the trio were carved by Thai craftsmen commissioned by Tourism Authority of Thailand (TAT). I mean, how else could you see all three practically simultaneously without the need to climb rocks, walk up steep hills or take a boat out into the sea? Everything is so conveniently laid out like the distribution of 7-Eleven stores any normal tourist must harbour suspicions TAT must have had a hand in this.

It was the turn of Wiboon Nimitrwanich, TAT director for Malaysia and Brunei to nearly collapse and pass out. He hollered indignantly, "Of course not. TAT has nothing to do with this natural phenomenon! It is completely natural. Thailand is just blessed to be endowed with many natural attractions!"

I never knew I could be so sexed-out right in the openair surrounded by phallic and vaginal symbols! Then again, this is Thailand where anything is possible as my tour guide Oat told me. I told him same here in Malaysia too but our rock formations are more discreet and not so shamelessly sexual as we are a modest, Islamic nation where such things are forbidden.

Let's start with Unhappy Cock or Sad Cock. It is there smack in the middle of the landscape so all you have to do is grin and giggle at the not-a-drop-of-sperm left cock lying limp and lifeless at the top of a hill. You can climb up there but I don't see why as the view is as perfect as it gets from where you are standing though of course you get the best views when standing facing it directly.

Hin Yai or Wet Pussy (yes, I call it Wet Cunt for a reason as it is not high and dry like Sad Cock!) takes a bit of discovering which is typical of women as you have to make an effort in order to see her chibai.

Anyway I stand at the top of the cleft set into the side of the rock face and see yawning abyss as the rock is split asunder to resemble a vagina. It is pretty impressive and I was almost clapping my hands in homage to Mother Nature for a job well done. Note there is no Father Nature and I always wonder why botanists are so sexist. They used to name typhoons after women's names as women are so unpredictable, tempestuous and unreasonable (except for my sainted mother living in Kota Baru who is sweet and adorable) but now the powers that be give male names to typhoons and cyclones too, presumably for the same reason (except for my sainted father living in Kota Baru who is so nice and caring).

Anyway, I was suitably impressed until the lifeguard beckoned me to walk further down the slippery slope to the edge of the sea. "Best view here," he said, waving his hands at me to join him. Since he was already standing down there, I figured if I slipped, I could have a soft landing on him so I walked gingerly down. Luckily I was wearing Native rubber shoes which gripped the rocky surfaces like a vise.

Down there, I looked up at where I stood earlier and almost dropped my Canon EOS 500D and Leica Limited Edition D-Lux 4.

Hin Yai is the world's biggest cunt! It is nearly 3 metres long and the size of a wall with a slit that, gasp gasp faint faint, comes with a clitoris!

I call Hin Yai the Wet Pussy or Wet Cunt or Wet Vagina or Wet Chibai (that's Hokkien my native tongue as spoken by all the Emperors in Forbidden City as Hokkien is so highclass since I am Hokkien what) as it IS wet all the time!

Can you believe (swoon, faint) Hin Yai is permanently washed by the waves as it is at the water's edge and the waves come all the way up, pass the narrow channel that constitutes the vagina and then flicks the crest into a small shower at the very top! It is so sensationally eerie as it looks like the rock is enjoying an orgasm and a multiple one at that!

Fancy seeing a wave filled with white foam licking its way resolutely and firmly up the cunt and caressing Hin Yai before shooting out like a sperm explosion into the air at the top! Since I am a virgin and pure as the driven snow, I do not know how a vagina smells like but some men have told me it can have a salty taste and if so, Hin Yai aka Wet Cunt certainly lives up to expectations!

As for the clitoris, well I almost passed out from astonishment, amazement and amusement. It is not easy to see let alone photograph the clit as the waves kept rushing and covering it but I was determined to take some good photos even if I had to stand there till the world ends on 12.12.12.

I had to wait till the waves recede and quickly photograph the clitoris before the next wave rushes in. This is one of the world's most fascinating natural phenomena and I have seen plenty!

A rock that resembles a vagina that is permanently penetrated, licked and kissed by liquids to resemble sperm and vaginal secretions or discharges upon orgasm. Plus a clitoris to make sexual excitement happen! This is so real it's surreal!

You must visit Koh Samui just for this unearthly sight and better hurry as unending natural erosion will slowly erase such resemblances to the human organs the same way the famous 12 Apostles of Victoria, Australia is now reduced to 8! So hurry take Bangkok Airways (RM 820 return and stay at Chaweng Regent at RM 350 or Chaba Cabana Beach Resort at RM 200) from KLIA to Koh Samui this coming weekend. This is one sight to be seen to be titillated!

After the excitement of Wet Cunt (I know this word sounds rude but you secretly relish reading it as I know what lurks deep in the heart of men and women!) I half expected to see Hard Cock shoot out sperm, I mean seawater from its cockhead via some hidden cavity inside.

Alas, Erect Cock did nothing more than stand proudly in full erection which I guess was good enough. Stiff Dick (oh I can think of so many identikit names) is some distance away and like Sad Cock, is too far and troublesome to reach.

Many farang (western) tourists now know the meaning of 'chibai' and 'lanchiau' as I kept shouting these words out loud while pointing my fingers at them.

With sex screaming and screeching all around, there must be a legend to explain the cocks and cunt. This is the official version as described in the signboard.

"A folklore of Samui tells the story of an old couple Ta Kreng (Grandpa Kreng) and his wife Yai Reim (Grandma Reim) who lived with their son in the southern province of Nakhon Si Thammarat. Since their son had come of age, they decided he should be married.

"They decided to sail to the northern province of Prachuap Khiri Khan to ask for the hand of the daughter of a man called Ta Monglai. During the sea journey their boat was seized by a storm. The couple was unable to swim to shore and drowned. They died at sea and turned into rocks, proving to the would-be bride's parents of their true and noble intentions. The rocks still stand today as testimony."

Well, I find this fable to be SO uninteresting, uninspired and unbelievable! First of all, how could the couple be grandpa and grandma when their son was unmarried and had no children. Maybe these were honorific titles but I refuse to accept this explanation. And why would the gods turn them into stone just to prove their 'true intentions' to the bride's parents? They should be turned into stone so their love for each other would be remembered for eternity, more like. And why did they not bring their son along to prove how nice and handsome he was to his future wife's parents and relatives?

Finally, if they were really grandfather and grandmother, surely he would be too old to have a rock hard, solid erection like the Big Cock and her cunt would be too dry and flapping loose whereas the Wet Pussy Rock is always moist, wet and orgasmic?

After some cogitation and meditation, this is my version of what really happened.

The couple Ta Kreng and Yai Reim, after going to Prachuap Khiri Khan and bringing home their daughter-in-law, lived happily with their son and his wife at Koh Samui. Their son had children so they became grandparents.

One day when Ta Kreng and Yai Reim were 70 years old, their daughter-in-law had a yearning to return to her home province of Prachuap Khiri Khan up north. Despite their advanced age the grandparents insisted on taking her to see her family in Prachuap as their son was unable to come as he had to attend to their coconut harvest.

The grandparents and their daughter-in-law and 2 grandsons set sail. A violent storm capsized their boat and everyone drowned. As the old couple were drowning they clung to each other and he had an erection for the last time while she had an orgasm. This is why they were transformed into Hard Cock and Wet Cunt.

As for their daughter-in-law, there are several large boulders with slits in the middle that could pass off as her vagina. There are also heaps of smaller, rocky and protruding outcrops that can represent the little willies of the 2 young boys!

When the old couple's son heard the news, he rushed to Lamai beach and in sorrow and despair, threw himself into the sea and drowned, thus joining his parents, wife and sons in heaven. In his honour, a third rock formation was created---Unhappy Cock. Well, your cock will be limp, soft, flaccid and unhappy too if you lose your parents, wife and 2 sons!

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MORE OF THE SAME AS I KNOW ONE CAN NEVER HAVE ENOUGH OF COCK AND CUNT!

See what I mean? These ladies certainly could not have enough of this Cock Rock!

Up yours!

Hooray for the cock! And for all mankind!

Kee Hua Chee and Wiboon feeling very cocky!

All this cock talk has floored Kee Hua Chee unused to such provocations

Kee Hua Chee wore pink as most cocks are that colour or shades of pink but this Erect Rock is basaltic grey

Kee Hua Chee and Wiboon who seems bemused

Kee Hua Chee and his favourite Thai cock

Kee Hua Chee and Snthia Lim (yes this is the way she insists on spelling her name) of Globalite Travel

Kee Hua Chee opens and spreads his legs wide in honour of the Cock Rock aka Grandfather Rock though Snthia Lim is not a grandmother

The Erect Cock on left is natural but the erect structure at right with white ball is manmade

Kee Hua Chee opens his legs wide open while Snthia Lim closes her legs tightly and hence the difference between the sexes

This is the biggest cock in all Thailand

Amazingly, this Cock Rock is surrounded by many boulders which appear to resemble vaginas complete with the necessary slits! I could stare at this view for hours

The snake coiling around my neck now appears like a sensual phallic symbol too

Kee Hua Chee is easily sexually sexcited

Kee Hua Chee's legs are wide open but he is not planning a contest with the supreme winner in the background


Two ladies discussing the rocky outcrop in the sea. They could be a cock with 2 balls or a penis protruding from a vagina...you see what your mind tells you and mine tells me it is cocks and cunts

This pose was taken by the park warden who obviously is an expert on photos taken from the appropriate angles as he has seen photos taken from every conceivable angle!

This photo contains so many cocks and cunts there should be a contest to count how many can you see in your sex-riddled mind

I am also impressed by the 2 boulders which seem to defy gravity by refusing to fall

I am sure you can see plenty of sexual organs in this picture

I call these the Daughter-in-Law and 2 Sons Rocks

THE GRANDMOTHER ROCK OR HIN YAI OR WET PUSSY OR ORGASMIC CUNT ROCK!

I took this photo from the top of the rock with the park warden standing below to prove the Vagina Rock is huge

The waves slowly lick their way up and inside the Cunt Rock

Looks deeper and tighter from this angle

I walked carefully down to take this dramatic photo of Grandmother Rock aka Wet Pussy Rock that comes replete with its own clitoris as you can see at the bottom!

The spectacular sight of this Wet Pussy Rock having an orgasm must have given many men a hard-on!

In Thailand, even the rocks get into the sex act

Here you can clearly see the clitoris as I managed to take this photo as the waves receded and just before the next one licked in

The chibai proves this is a vagina and not an asshole as some insist...unless the arse is suffering from incontinence and the lumps are piles!

Cunt or asshole?

Dare I say it? I must! Don't they look like wads of sperm inside the vagina? Oh see what you forced me to say out loud!

Kee Hua Chee pointing out the Vagina Rock

In case you blinked, here is another lookee mapukee

LooKee MapuKee, get it? Hee hee hee

Speaking of puki...

Okee, final lookee at the pukee!

THE SAD COCK ROCK, UNHAPPY ROCK OR LIMP DICK ROCK!

At first I thought the dick was the humunguous one touching the sea but apparently it is the smaller one at the top. Oh well, 2 for the price of one is fine with me.

Here you go, up front and personal

Wonder if he feels slightly inferior

Kee Hua Chee feels a wee sorry for this wee willy

These 2 ladies left in disappointment doubtless

The more you look the more phallic symbols your mind's eye sees

I see 2 cocks here...

Both are quite obvious even to the vaginal, I mean virginal eye like mine

Bye bye Limp Dick with pubic hair...may you be revived some day.

THE END