JESUS CHRIST GAVE GOLD MEDAL TO LIN DAN

KEE@FSWMAG.COM


OH WELL, DATUK LEE CHONG WEI LOST TO CHINA'S LIN DAN DESPITE HIS INITIALS 'D.L.C.W' WHICH MEANS 'DON'T LET CHINA WIN'.


However I have just been given the revelations through a divine vision why Lin Dan won and not Datuk Lee Chong Wei.


1) Datuk Lee Chong Wei's initials D.L.C.W actually means 'Do Let China Win' and NOT 'Don't Let China Win'! So in a bizarre way that backfired on us as Datuk Lee Chong Wei's initials worked against him!


2) Lin Dan tattooed the Holy Christian Cross on his left arm as he has converted to Christianity and so Jesus Christ rewarded him by giving him the Gold Medal! Datuk Lee Chong Wei did not display images of Buddha or Kuanyin pendants prominently so when Jesus Christ awarded the gold medal to Lin Dan, the other gods acquiesced.


3) My Diarrhea Curse on Lin Dan failed because while I was casting my spell on him, I accidentally thought of my adopted French son Dedione Kee. So my poor darling had diarrhea instead and was doing his business on the pile of newspaper as the match proceeded!


4) This Lin Dan guy also scored on looks, physique and sex appeal so most of the neutral spectators were subconsciously willing him to win. This is very  important because if thousands of spectators were mentally wishing Lin Dan to win due to his looks, then their brain waves would create a winner's halo around Lin Dan which I saw with my own eyes on TV though most of you would be unable to see this since you don't have the Third Eye like me. 


According to Kee International Survey System (KISS), 98% of women and 80% of flaming faggots also preferred to have sex with Lin Dan rather than Datuk Lee Chong Wei. This also worked in Lin Dan's favour since so many were thinking of a naked Lin Dan and this mental image almost came true as he unexpectedly removed his shirt to show off a magnificently sexy physique! Few expected him to strip at the end but he did as he subconsciously obeyed the desire, command and will of millions who watched the match worldwide. 


Still, I am told Datuk Lee Chong Wei will NOT be stripped of his Datukship as feared by some of his fans. But he will not be getting the RM 2 million solid gold bar.


But getting a Silver Medal is a GREAT accomplishment, one that I will never attain despite all my previous 1,348 incarnations! 


So congratulations Datuk Lee Chong Wei! You still made us proud and it will be my honour to thank you personally for bringing home the Silver Medal.