LAST NIGHT WAS THE FIRST TIME I WENT TO PROVIDENCE, THE CLUB NOT PROVIDENCE AS IN DIVINE GUIDANCE OR GODLY CARE!
I HAD BEEN HEARING ABOUT HOW FABULOUS IT WAS FROM ALL MY RICH AND GOOD LOOKING AND YOUNG FRIENDS AND SINCE I AM ONE OF THEM, I FELT OBLIGED TO CHECK IT OUT.
SO WHEN BIG BOSS JOHN LANGAN WHO OWNS PROVIDENCE INVITED ME TO JOIN HIM CELEBRATE HIS 33rd BIRTHDAY, I FELT IT WAS AN ACT OF PROVIDENCE!
LOCATED AT AT THE INTERMARK SO CONVENIENTLY NEAR MY CONDO (HOW THOUGHTFUL OF JOHN LANGAN SO I CAN VISIT MORE OFTEN) THE DRIVEWAY BY THE ENTRANCE WAS DOUBLE PARKED WITH EXPENSIVE WHEELS SO I KNEW I WAS GOING TO BE IN GOOD COMPANY!
IT IS ALWAYS GOOD TO ENTER HISTORY FOR BEING THE FIRST, BEST OR ONLY! I AM THE FIRST AND ONLY FREELANCE CELEBRITY WRITER TO BE AWARDED A DATOSHIP AND PROVIDENCE IS THE MOST EXPENSIVE CLUB IN MALAYSIAN HISTORY!
THE BEST TABLE ON THE DANCEFLOOR IS SAID TO COST RM 15,000 BUT JOHN LANGAN SAYS THIS IS UNTRUE. HE ADDS INSOUCIANTLY, "YOU CAN HAVE IT FOR RM 8,000!"
JOHN LANGAN IS THE FIRST ENTRECLUBBER TO CREATE THE 'CHAMPAGNE CHARMER' PARADE---WHEN YOU ORDER A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE OR USUALLY 3 OR 6, A PARADE OF SCANTILY CLAD, BEAUTIFUL GIRLS WILL MARCH TO YOUR TABLE HOLDING CHAMPERS BOTTLES LIT BY SPARKLERS.
THIS IS TO ANNOUNCE YOU ARE RICH AND HAVE GOOD TASTE ENOUGH TO ORDER CHAMPAGNE!
LAST NIGHT I SAW SO MANY PARADES OF THE CHAMPAGNE CHARMERS MARCHING TO THE TABLES LINING THE DANCE FLOOR I GAVE UP COUNTING ONCE THE NUMBER PASSED 10! AND IT WAS ONCE EVERY 10 OR 15 MINUTES! NOT ONCE EVERY HOUR!
ONE RICH ARAB-LOOKING GUY ORDERED 8 BOTTLES OF DOM PERIGNON WHICH WERE PLACED INSIDE A LIGHTED BOX SO THE WHILE WORLD COULD SEEE ITS PRECIOUS AND EXPENSIVE CONTENTS! DITTO FRO THE MOET BOTTLE SPLACED INSIDE IS OWN CONTAINER. MOST RICHIES ORDERED BY THE HALF DOZEN TO SAVE THE POOR GIRLS' FEET FROM HAVING TO TRUDGE SO MANY TIMES UP AND DOWN THE BAR IN HIGH HEELS!
THE CROWD WERE AMAZINGLY YOUNG AND YOUTHFUL AND MORE IMPORTANT---GOOD LOOKING LIKE ITS OWNER JOHN LANGAN!
PROVIDENCE IS LARGE BUT NOT MASSIVE THOUGH THE COMPANY THAT OWNS IT IS CALLED 'MASSIVE COLLECTIVE'! IT IS AROUND 5,000 SQ FT AND ON ONE LEVEL. THE MEN'S LOO REQUIRES A BIT OF NAVIGATION AS THERE IS A NARROW PASSAGE ENROUTE TO THE URINALS AND THE DECOR IS VERY DE NICE BUT NOT JAW-DROPPING LIKE THE FIXTURES IN MY CONDO.
THE SEATS ARE MEANT TO BE STOOD ON AND TRAMPLED SO ARE NOT MADE OF THE FINEST SILK OR VELVET. THE CEILINGS ARE AVERAGE HEIGHT AND DO NOT SOAR SEVERAL STOREYS.
BUT THE PEOPLE MAKETH THE PLACE! PROVIDENCE IS HEAVEN-SENT FOR TO SEE AND BE SEEN AND SINNED! I LOVE THE JOINT!
JOHN LANGAN IS THE FIRST TO INTRODUCE THE 'CHAMPAGNE PARADE' AND THE FIRST TO INTRODUCE CREDIT CARD FOLDERS WITH BUILT-IN LIGHTS SO YOU CAN EASILY SEE THE DAMAGES! NO NEED TO PEER AND SQUINT YOUR EYE TO SEE THE AMOUNT! AND THERE ARE LIMITED EDITION TEDDY BEARS TO BE GIVEN AWAY FOR BIG ORDERS.
COVER CHARGE IS RM 70 BUT EVEN SO THERE IS NO GUARANTEE YOU WILL BE ALLOWED TO ENTER! REMINDS ME OF MARILYN, ONCE THE MOST FAMOUS DOOR KEEPER IN PARIS WHEN LE BAINS DOUCHE WAS AT ITS PEAK. GAINING ENTRY INSIDE WAS ENTIRELY AT HER DISCRETION---NO IFS, BUTS OR MAYBES! DUE TO THE PERSONAL INTERVENTION OF JESUS, SHE LET ME IN UPON FIRST ARRIVAL!
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