ABBAYE DE VAUX DES CERNAY IS THE 11TH CENTURY, HISTORIC ABBEY SOME 50 KM FROM PARIS WHERE DATO NANCY YEOH WILL MARRY HER NORWEGIAN HUSBAND ROLV (NOT ROLF AS SOME THINK I CARELESS TO SPELL WRONGLY!) REISSIGER THIS EVENING AT 6 PM LOCAL TIME IN FRANCE! HERE IS A LOOKEE AT THE ABBEY'S SPLENDID AND MAGNIFICENT INTERIORS!

KEE@FSWMAG.COM

THE ABBEY ROOM STARTS FROM 130 EUROS TO 700 EUROS AND IS ABSOLUTELY LOVELY WITH UNRIVALED AMBIANCE THAT MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE KINGV LOUIS XIV AND EVERY ROOM IS DIFFERENT AS EACH HAS ITS OWN UNIQUE IDENTITY AND CHARISMA.

All rooms offer grand vistas overlooking the gardens, park or lake so you really feel like living in a chateau.

But incredibly there are 3 drawbacks which stun me speechless in this day and age.

First, there is no TV, even in the RM 3,600 suite. Of course you come here for a romantic getaway with your spouse or lover and after making wild, passionate, crazy love screaming from ecstasy and fall off the bed and rolling on the carpet, you are left to stare at the ceiling or each other. I am told sex usually lasts 15 to 45 minutes so for the rest of the day or night there is no CNN to watch.

Of course you can watch videos, read the star.com.my for latest news or this blog on your smartphone so this shouldn't be a massive, insurmountable problem. But it is! 

There is no WIFI! Yes, no wi-fi as in no internet connection. There is a wifi code at reception but the staff tell you immediately it is "difficult to get". Translated, it means impossible! I spent 2 hours trying to connect while waiting to welcome Tunku Naquiyuddin Tuanku Jafaar and his entourage!

Even more bizarre, every guest is given an unique link and password! There is no one single password. I was given cust-054 to log in and a password like 347R which didn't work so the receptionist gave me another, something like cust-178 and a different password which didn't work either! In fact he showed me 3 pages of different logs-in with a different password for each! I thought I was in deepest, darkest Africa instead of France, one of the world's most advanced, sophisticated and industrialised nations!

As for television, I was taken to a small corridor with 2 chairs arranged in 3 rows facing a TV. Only those sitting in the front row can see the TV screen as the remaining 4 chairs offer disrupted views! And in a corridor and I can imagine English speakers wanting to watch CNN fighting with French guests wishing to watch French TV!

Finally, no electric kettle or tea/coffee making facility. So if you wake at 3 am and desire a cup of tea, too bad, so sad. Rich as you are, you cannot phone reception and pay some minion 100 euros to bring coffee as this is rural France with no 24/7 room service!

I was amused when the staff told me this is in keeping with the 'spirit of the abbey' like in olden days when monks shivered and prayed in small, cold, stone cells. I suggested we should do same and read Bibles by candlelight instead of electric bulbs. 

The staff shrugged elegantly as only the French can do and admitted it would be nice if the owner of Abbaye de Vaux des Vernay who is even richer than me would invest in a better, advanced, upgraded Wifi which cannot be more than 800 euros that would blanket all of the lovely parks and rooms!

This way to Dato Nancy Yeoh and Rolv Reissiger's wedding on 8 Oct 2016!

The wedding dinner was held inside

Main entrance

Guests enter through the blue gates

And walk beneath this lovely pergola

Welcoming guests are Olivier and Raphael

Lobby

Like a monastery!

Bet the monks didn't have it this good

Stunning ceiling 'spider web'!

Grand

My taste

Dramatic vista

Stately

Manorial

Love this wraparound chairs

Reminds me of King Arthur's round table

Round settee

Staircase to rooms

Cannot believe our bunga raya thrive better here!

Typical room

Love the workingplace but not usable now

Rooms overlook park, lake or gardens!

Love the old fashioned loo! The wooden top can be lowered and closed

Innocent corridor

But there is a secret staircase! Maybe for secret rendezvous for which the French are famous

Very de grand

Carved fireplace so deluxe

This room is Room 1 and the bathroom is located at back of bed

The wall is transparent glass so this is not an illusion! The bath room is located directly behind bed

Luxe bathroom

Chandeliers in bath room!

But where is the toilet bowl?

Here it is! The throne!

Just lift the wooden door!

The bed is behind the basin

Very de nice

The bed and bath in room 1

This is room 123

Can you believe this is the TV room as there is only 1 TV in entire hotel of 55 deluxe rooms and suites! This is actually a connecting corridor or passage so expect people and staff to walk through constantly. And only 9 people can sit and watch TV and those at the back can't see much, haha

to be continued