Tuesday, April 10, 2012

HEATHROW BY INVITATION; RIGHT ROYAL, RIGHTFULLY 'RICEY 'REATMENT!

KEE@FSWMAG.COM

WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE HIGH ROYALTY AT HEATHROW, THE WORLD'S MOST IMPORTANT, BUSIEST AND BEST-CONNECTED AIRPORT? PEEVED AT HAVING TO WALK FROM PLANE TO IMMIGRATION BY FOOT LIKE LOW-CLASS PEASANTS?
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Having a luxury limousine pick you up as you literally step off the plane is one seamless, deluxe experience one can get used to rather easily...for RM 7,500 (excluding taxes) for a party of 6.


FED-UP OF HAVING TO WAIT AND GET YOUR MANOLO BLAHNIKS STEPPED UPON BY THE HEAVING MASSES WHILE WAITING AT THE CAROUSEL FOR YOUR LUGGAGE?

TIRED OF HAVING TO LUG YOUR OWN SUITCASES LIKE PEASANTS DO?

BORED STIFF OF QUEUING AT PASSPORT CONTROL LIKE THE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT STANDING IN FRONT AND AT THE BACK OF YOU? AND TORTURED TO DEATH BY THEIR NASTY BODY ODOUR AND BAD BREATH WHEN ONE POKES YOU IN THE RIB TO ASK FOR THE SPELLING OF HEATHROW?

HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR HERMES BIRKIN AND LOUIS VUITTON SUITCASES BEING STARED AT BY SUSPICIOUS OFFICERS AS IF THEY WERE FAKES DESPITE YOU WEARING YOUR 50-CARAT DIAMOND SOLITAIRE WHICH THEY PROBABLY ASSUME IS SWAROVSKI?

OH, THE TEDIUM OF HAVING TO OPEN YOUR SUITCASES FOR INSPECTION AND YOUR LA PERLA AND VICTORIA SECRET LINGERIE TAKEN OUT FOR AN AIRING. AS YOUR MAID WAS THE ONE WHO PACKED YOUR BAGS, YOU ARE NOW IN A QUANDARY ABOUT STUFFING YOUR CLOTHES BACK INTO YOUR SUITCASES WHICH NOW APPEAR TO HAVE SHRUNK IN SIZE AND HALF YOUR GARMENTS CANNOT SEEM TO FIT BACK.

MIND YOU, YOU ALSO HAD TO WALK ALL THE WAY FROM PLANE TO IMMIGRATION COUNTER! SOMETIMES THE DISTANCE IS SO FAR YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE WALKED HALFWAY TO OXFORD STREET.

ONLY TO CONFRONT A DOUR AND SUSPICIOUS IMMIGRATION OFFICER WHO SEEMS ASTONISHED AND INCREDULOUS YOU OWN A MANSION IN LONDON OR EVEN AN EX-COUNCIL FLAT IN BARKING.

NOW SAY GOODBYE TO ALL YOUR TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS FOR SUCCOUR IS AT HAND...

INTRODUCING 'HEATHROW BY INVITATION'---THE AIRPORT'S BEST KEPT SECRET.

ONCE RESERVED FOR THE YANG DIPERTUAN AGONG, SULTANS AND THEIR ROYAL CONSORTS AND FAMILY, FELLOW KINGS, QUEENS, PRESIDENTS, HEADS OF STATE, DIGNITARIES, MOST FAVOURED GUESTS OF THE BRITISH GOVERNMENT AND THE LAST EMPEROR, THE EMPEROR OF JAPAN, 'HEATHROW BY INVITATION' IS NOW AVAILABLE TO THE BAYING AND PAYING PUBLIC!

OF COURSE, THIS SERVICE IS SUPER EXPENSIVE AND COSTS RM 7,500 EXCLUDING TAXES FOR 6 PEOPLE.

THE HIGHLIGHT IS BEING RECEIVED AND WELCOMED ONBOARD THE PLANE BEFORE YOUR FELLOW FIRST CLASS OR BUSINESS CLASS OR THE LOWER CLASS PASSENGERS AND PLEBEIANS ARE ALLOWED TO DISEMBARK THE PLANE.

A LIMOUSINE IS RIGHT BELOW THE PLANE AND YOU ARE FERRIED INSIDE THE LUXURY LIMO AND DRIVEN ACROSS THE TARMAC TO A DEDICATED VIP LOUNGE WHERE FORMALITIES LIKE PASSPORT AND SUITCASE RETRIEVAL ARE TAKEN CARE OF AS YOU SIT AND SIP CHAMPAGNE!

ONLY ONCE HAVE I ENJOYED SUCH A SERVICE AND IT WAS AT PHNOM PENH AIRPORT WHEN PRINCESS DR BECKY LEOGARDO BROUGHT ME TO ATTEND THE KING OF CAMBODIA'S NIECE'S WEDDING.

As we disembarked the plane, a luxury stretch limousine was waiting for us on the runway and we were driven from tarmac to the VIP lounge whereas my fellow Malaysian guests which included Malaysian royalty had to trudge on foot to Passport Control, Immigration and Customs! I can vouch this is very addictive! So if you are well heeled, I highly recommend you fork out RM 7,500 (excluding taxes) for this service that makes life so worth living!

Arrive and Depart Heathrow Like Royalty With the

New ‘Heathrow By Invitation’ VIP Service

Forget immigration queues and waiting at a baggage carousel, London’s Heathrow Airport is now extending its exclusive VIP Service – previously reserved for royalty and heads of state – to the world’s most discerning travellers.

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This is your private, dedicated and super exclusive lounge where formalities and suitcase retrieval are taken care of while you sit and sit champagne.

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Your carriage awaits, milady

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This is the only way to arrive and depart---in your private luxury limousine and driven on the tarmac on the runway to and from Malaysia Airlines or any airlines you happen to patronise!

The airport’s best-kept secret, ‘Heathrow By Invitation’ is a seamless private VIP airport service that has been used for years by kings and queens, heads of state and dignitaries. The pinnacle of Heathrow’s customer service offers ultimate comfort, personal security and efficiency, with minimum fuss and complete privacy. It is the quickest, most direct and most exclusive way to board or disembark from a flight at the world’s most-connected airport.

Privileged guests arriving at Heathrow are personally greeted at their aircraft and attended by staff familiar with the protocol of high-profile diplomats. Completely bypassing the main terminals and other passengers, guests are chauffeur-driven across the tarmac to the sanctuary of a deluxe, personally tailored VIP lounge. Here, they can enjoy light refreshments in total privacy, while the experienced team takes care of all passport and customs checks and luggage retrieval.

VIP guests departing from Heathrow will be met at a dedicated private entrance to the airport, away from the public eye, and guided to their private lounge, where all check-in and security procedures are swiftly managed. In perfect timing, a luxury limousine whisks VIPs from the lounge directly to the steps of their aircraft, right before it departs. An equally seamless personal service is also available for connecting flights at Heathrow.

Privacy and comfort are assured as part of the ‘Heathrow By Invitation’ service. Guests can relax in their own personal VIP lounge, enjoying gourmet refreshments, global newspapers and WiFi Internet, while all travel formalities are dealt with behind the scenes. The highly trained VIP team is attentive and personable when guests need them, and utterly unobtrusive when they don’t.

Doing business need not stop while in transit – ‘Heathrow By Invitation’ VIPs can use their lounge as a private conference or casual meeting space for up to three hours. Invites are available for up to six additional people, including passengers and non-passengers.

Personal security and discretion are of utmost importance. Screening formalities take place in a dedicated private security area, away from other passengers, and the discreet VIP team is on hand to arrange security and passport control at each guest’s convenience. Total privacy from the media or public is guaranteed throughout the process.

“‘Heathrow By Invitation’ is an exclusive and sophisticated approach to international air travel for discerning travellers. You’ll rarely see another passenger and the entire experience is personally tailored and utterly enjoyable,” says John Holland-Kaye, Heathrow’s commercial director.


The ‘Heathrow By Invitation’ service can be reserved up to 24 hours in advance via the website booking form at www.heathrowbyinvitation.com. The service costs GBP1,500 + tax per single journey (arriving, departing or connecting) for up to six passengers (travelling as a group) at Heathrow Airport. This rate includes dedicated secure drop off/pick up forecourt at Heathrow; private lounge for up to six passengers; light refreshments in the private lounge; private security area for passenger screening; limousine transfer direct to/from the aircraft; check-in and baggage taken care of on departure; passports and baggage taken care of on arrivals; and total privacy and security throughout the process.

THE END

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