I WOKE UP TO SEE MY ORANGE FEATHERS FLUTTERING ON PAGE 2 OF THE WEST AUSTRALIAN IN 'INSIDE COVER'. SO I HAVE MADE IT TO WESTERN AUSTRALIA'S TOP NEWSPAPER (EQUIVALENT TO MALAYSIA'S THE STAR NEWSPAPER) FOR 2 DAYS RUNNING SO I AM IN SEVENTH HEAVEN AND GIVING THANKS TO JESUS CHRIST, BUDDHA, VIRGIN MARY AND KUANYIN THE GODDESS OF MERCY AS THEY ARE THE ONES I WORSHIP WHO MADE THIS HAPPEN.
Tony Sage, director of Perth Fashion Festival glittering with Kee Hua Chee
Posing, preening and pirouetting is my pastime and I have fine tuned it to an artform
Sprawling is the key or should that be kee word?
Taken by Contempo with the blower giving me the wind-kissed look
Now my pose and hair become even more dramatic as if the God of Wind is really sorting me out
and asking me to spread my legs
Posing for Contempo Photographers in my chandelier shirt in WA Museum lobby
Check out the photos at contempocollection.com.au
Kee Hua Chee dangling his crystals with Perth Fashion Festival founder and director Mariella Harvey-Hanrahan
For once, I almost blended with the curtains but my crystals saved me from this humiliation. This photo taken by Mariella Harvey-Hanrahan!
Having someone to lean on is always handy as my chandelier shirt weighs over 2 kilos! Just as well Andrew To of Amnesty(fashion, not the do-gooder group) did not mind the excess kgs
Tony Sage, one of Perth's richestand most successful and charitable men, is always friendly and approachable. Here he is with my hair stylist from L'Oreal
Glittering like a chandelier at the Bar in The Court Hotel
Simon Chandler with Kee Hua Chee and various chandeliers
Kee Hua Chee's crystal chandelier clusters and their cousins on the ceiling of The Court
Samantha Evans from Perth Fashion Festival wore a ritzy collar to match Kee Hua Chee's crystal drops
Greek goddess in vermilion
She fixed my hair!
Henry, half Burmese and half Irish, fixed my drinks
Henry the bartender looked like Clarke Kent when he was Superboy
So I forced both Clark Kents to pose together! One as the adult Clark Kent working as geeky reporter and the other as Clark Kent when he was Superboy
This Lad of Steel poured me endless glasses of Bunkers champagne
Kee Hua Chee draping his crystals on Simon aka Superman/Clark Kent Chandler
These three, together with Henry, are the most handsome and gorgeous barmen in the whole of Western Australia. Left is Ryan Channing and right is Shay. The guy with incredibly arched eyebrows I haven't found out his name yet but I am sure he will be emailing me his details
I have never seen barmen better looking than this trio, have you? No? Just as I thought...
I did my Superman pose but it did not impress these girls who are taller than me
Another attempt at taking off
I loved her Louis Vuitton heels!
And beautifully pedicured and painted nails!
Well, at least they are happy
Look what the dino dragged in with its tail
If you had me holding on to your tail, you would roar with fear too
The one at right is daughter of Mariella Harvey-Hanrahan
Supermodel Ben Hassings
I removed his hair band for this sexily tousled look
Ben has great gnashers so he had to show off his pearlies
Hmmm must be a bad angle as my face looked as round as a basketball or moon
I ALWAYS BELIEVE IN HEDGING MY BETS AND AT ECONOMICS SCHOOL HAVE BEEN DRILLED I SHOULD NOT PUT ALL MY EGGS IN ONE BASKET BUT HAVE A RELATIVELY DIVERSE PORTFOLIO SO WHEN IT COMES TO ENSURING MY ENTRY INTO HEAVEN, I AM WORSHIPING BOTH JESUS AND BUDDHA.
IF JESUS STOPS ME FROM ENTERING THE PEARLY GATES FOR WHATEVER REASONS, BUDDHA MAY ALLOW ME TO ENTER NIRVANA OR AS A LAST RESORT GET REBORN AS AN EMPEROR, KING, CROWN PRINCE OR AT THE VERY LEAST (OR AS A REWARD), EMPRESS, QUEEN, CROWN PRINCESS OR DUCHESS OR SPOUSE OF A TRILLIONAIRE.
WHERE ARE WE?
OH, MY ORANGE FEATHERED SHIRT. MOST FEATHERS GET THROWN AWAY BUT I HAVE RECYCLED THEM AND KFC SHOULD TAKE A LEAF (OR FEATHER) FROM MY BOOK. ALSO, HAVING YOUR PORTRAITS DONE IS A DIME A DOZEN. HOWEVER, 99.99% FRAME AND HANG THEIR PORTRAITS ON THEIR WALLS.
WELL, OBVIOUSLY I WEAR THEM!
THE CONCEPT IS THE SAME. WHEN YOU HANG YOUR PORTRAITS IN YOUR LIVING ROOM OR ANY PUBLIC AREA IN THE HOME, THE IDEA IS FOR YOU, FAMILY AND INVITED FRIENDS TO SEE AND PERCHANCE ADMIRE YOUR SMIRKING FACE. SAME HERE. MY PORTRAITS ARE 3-D AS I HAVE MY FACES PAINTED IN FRONT AND BACK OF MY SHIRTS AND PANTS SO YOU CAN CALL ME 2-FACED GUY AND I ACCEPT IT MEEKLY.
GARY ADSHEAD OF 'INSIDE COVER' MENTIONED 'ANYONE WHO HAS THEIR OWN IMAGE SEWN INTO THE FRONT OF THEIR PANTS DESERVES TO BE ON THE CATWALK'. I DID MODEL FROM 18 TO 25 BUT FAILED MISERABLY TO MAKE IT INTO THE BIG LEAGUE SO NOW I GO ONSTAGE USUALLY TO RECEIVE A PLAQUE OR SOME TOKEN OF APPRECIATION AS A JUDGE FOR MISS MALAYSIA OR MODEL CONTEST.
GARY ADSHEAD PENNED OFF WITH THE MYSTERIOUS ANNOUNCEMENT---'WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE KEE IN HIS BIRTHDAY SUIT'.
'BIRTHDAY SUIT AS IN STARKERS? SOUNDS LIKE A DENOUEMENT BUT THIS SCENARIO IS A BIT UNLIKELY AS MY BODY IS NOT (YET) TO DIE FOR SO I WOULD NOT POSE NAKED AND ANYWAY THIS WOULD SKEWER MY POLITICAL AMBITIONS EVEN BEFORE THEY GOT OFF THE GROUND.
Maurice Meade, top Perth hairstylist and Lisa Scaffidi, Lord Mayor of Perth and Ambassador of Perth Fashion Festival
The 5 fashion icons of WA at the Fashion Icon High Tea at Pan Pacific
Lovely blonde and dishy, handsome and sexy Sam Barnett, son of Western Australia's Premier Colin Barnett and Youth Ambassador cum chairman of Youth Advisory Board of Perth Fashion Festival. Not only is Sam Barnett dropdead gorgeous, he is also well educated, charming and fun with brilliant sense of humour! I predict he will be Australia's Prime Minister in future!
Pretty people must pose together
These two were among the wildest dressers I saw
The bloke had the Horned Devil tattooed on his arm while I wore mine as a ring which is easier to handle
Here is another horned monster in the lobby of Western Australia Museum
Mind your step
Arylene Westlake of Sunday Times and Claire Davis, Fashion Editor of The Sunday Times
I am always fond of magenta, on apparel or hair
Her blingy dress matched my chandelier crystals
Me and my fans...well they did ask to be photographed with me
BELOW ARE THE COLLECTIONS FROM ON TOUR, BHALO AND POPPY LISSIMAN
BELOW ARE THE CREATIONS OF 'STORY BY TANG'
Jamila Savoy from Professional Public Relations arrived at noon to drive me from Parmelia Hilton to XO Lounge where I met Andrew and Lyn from Singapore and top blogger Romy Frydman. After a delightful repast, Stephanie drove me to 140 William Street which is the Old Post Office in the pedestrian mall area where I attended the public judging of the Young Designers' Contest. I was pretty impressed by this crop and I must say the good candidates are miles ahead of their compatriots as they easily eclipsed their rivals.
I was bowled over by a menswear designer who I am convinced will win as he or she sent out a magnificent, marvellous and mani-layered modern warrior ensemble replete with hat and cape that was a hybrid of a monk's cowl, Alaskan bear trapper, Tibetan herdsman and tribal shaman. Something Conan the Barbarian would have worn should be be crowned King. Exactly what I would wear! Even the model's shoes were taken care of as the leather slip-ons had pointy toes to match the trapezoidal cape, collar and cap! This is one outfit I would don without adorning it with my painted portrait!
Stephanie (who could be Lance Pompey's sister though she has thick, curly-wurly tresses) drove to pick me at 3.15pm for Fashion Icon High Tea at Pan Pacifice Hotel. Tea? In Kuala Lumpur, the tea at 5-star hotels are miserly affairs with finger food so small they can scarcely be picked by fingers but the 'tea' here was like a 10-course meal served all at once!
As befitted the name of the event, there were 5 fashion icons representing WA's fashion community that included the Lord Mayor Lisa Scaffidi, designer Liz Davenport and hair stylist Maurice Meade. Guests could ask them questions although most of the salient ones were asked on our behalf by the emcee.
We left at 5pm for Parmelia Hilton to change and freshen up before departing for Fashion Paramount at WA Museum in the same Hackett Hall. I wore my chandelier shirt calculated to shock and stun any kangaroos and wombats into instant submission. I was given a chandelier by a rich friend but as there was no more space on my ceiling, I converted the chandelier into a shirt. I always love the sparkling crystals so I dismantled them and had the individual crystal drops sewn along my sleeves all the way up to my collar. I believe I caused quite asensation as I sparkled and glittered my way into WA Museum's lobby with everyone staring at me and snapping away. Someone said the Museum was planning to preserve me in formaldehyde and display me in their traditional Cabinet of Curiosities. Several attendees suggested the Museum should hang me on their ceiling like a chandelier and let me dangle down in solitary splendour.
The 6.30pm show featured On Tour, Bhalo and Poppy Lissiman. Poppy Lissiman was my firm favourite for the night as her dangly, tasseled earrings nearly a foot long caught my fancy as they reminded me of the tassels that occasionally hang from my shirts and jackets. Her clothes were cool, feminine and trendy too.
I notice most designs were of the wearable and saleable type which I guess is good for business but occasionally I do like to see extravagant, impractical creations! I also note a plethora of transparent, flimsy fabrics that practically allow the nipples to protrude through which I think are not worn in real life. The designers should feature appropriate boob tubes, camisoles or bustiers underneath so a girl can swan around Swan river without suffering a swansong of a wardrobe malfunction.
Another anomaly which always fazes me are the bare feet. I saw them during the Young Designers' Contest and also during the shows by professionals.
Bare feet are best seen on the beach, in bed or being tickled with one of my feathers but not on runways or walking around Hay Street Mall. Which fashionista is passsionista enough to parade in bare feet in real life? My toes are always safely ensconced in socks and shoes so they don't get cut by stones, stepped upon or get hurt should a car run over them. A designer who sends out shoeless models just seems lazy, un-coordinated or uninspired. Most of my shoes of course have my faces painted on them so when I look down, I see myself.
I also disapprove of pathetic accessories that seem more like an afterthought and do nothing for the dresses! Or worse, distract and mar their design! I saw some necklaces so dreary and boringly tedious they should have been burned or given to the poor though I suspect the poor might fling them back. These bits and pieces look like they were lying around the floor and the designer just picked them up and threw them on the models. Accessories like bling, belt and scarves must be created specifically for the dresses or else leave them out following the 'less is more' dictum.
After the first show, Simon Chandler (sadly not Chandelier as that would be the coolest coincidence of all time as my crystals were draped round his arm) walked me across the road to Fashion Bar at The Court Hotel. Simon with his sexily nerdy thick black glasses is an exact clone of Clark Kent aka Superman and his bulging triceps, biceps and other body parts prove he could well strip off his shirt to expose himself as the Man of Steel. He notes, "Actually I can very well wear the 'S' sign as my name is Simon!". Maybe I should throw myself in front on an oncoming Ferrari and see if he springs into action.
The Court also happens to be Perth's most famous gay bar when not utilised by Perth Fashion Festival. Free flow of drinks and canapes meant we were all tanked and sloshed (at least I was) by the time we returned to WA Museum for the 9pm show by Story by Tang. The show was fun and had some good pieces though I kept thinking of Tang of Singapore, my favourite department store on Orchard Road.
THE END
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