A toast to the good life and to Perth Fashion Festival! I am drinking J champagne, courtesy of S2 owner, designer and retailer Chrissie Catling!
Perth Fashion Festival really lives up to its name as the festive air is everywhere and champagne, gold flaked or not, has been flowing like there is no tomorrow
A bit of skin does no harm and I have been getting sloshed on Bunkers champagne at Fashion Bar at The Court owned by this beauteous lady Bree Maddox
Speaking of skin, this is Henry the bartender at The Court whose contribution to fashion was being looking 'ab'solutely gorgeous which is a cinch, more so as he looks like Clarke Kent though he does not have the S sign after lifting his shirt but I bet no one is complaining
Shay (not Shag as I initially misheard) has ab-solutely great abs and undies to match
After such excitement at The Court, I walked across the road to WA Museum and do what I do best---sprawl.
Kee Hua Chee with the Honourable John Day, Western Australia's Minister for Planning, Culture & Arts, Science & Innovation
AFTER APPEARING IN THE WEST AUSTRALIAN FOR 2 DAYS RUNNING, I EXPECTED TO SEE ME IN MY RED ENSEMBLE THAT CAUGHT THE EYE OF MEL B.
TO MY MORTIFICATION AND FRUSTRATION, I SEARCHED AND SCANNED EVERY PAGE OF THE WEST AUSTRALIAN INCLUDING THE SPORTS PAGE, MOTOR CARS AND CLASSIFIED PAGES BUT THERE WAS NO PHOTO OF ME!
THE HUMILIATION! I WAS ABOUT TO CATCH THE FIRST FLIGHT BACK TO MALAYSIA WHEN STEPHANIE AND NICOLE TOMASSO ARRIVED TO PICK ME AT 10AM AND CONSOLE ME.
Breakfast at Tarts Cafe is the only solution if you don't appear in The Western Australian
BRUNCH AT TARTS CAFE IN NORTHBRIDGE SHOULD DO THE TRICK, THEY DECLARED. TRUE ENOUGH, THE MASSIVE BREAKFAST MANAGED TO SOOTHE MY RUFFLED FEATHERS AND I BECAME PLIANT AGAIN IN THEIR MANIPULATIVE HANDS. I MUST SAY TARTS CAFE SERVES AN EXCELLENT BREAKFAST THOUGH I WAS INITIALLY PEEVED WHEN THE OWNER PUT US INSIDE A PRIVATE ROOM WHICH FELT LIKE A JAIL. I WAS AS USUAL DRESSED TO KILL AND THRILL DESPITE MY DEEP SORROW AT NOT APPEARING IN THE WEST AUSTRALIAN BUT I WANTED TO SEE AND BE SEEN BY THE NATIVES.
BUT MY PETITIONS TO THE GODS IN HIGH HEAVEN WERE ANSWERED! A MIRACLE!
AS I WALKED OUT OF WA MUSEUM AFTER THE AL'LKEMI SHOW, I WAS GIVEN A FREE COPY OF THE SUNDAY TIMES AND MY PHOTO WAS IN IT! PRAISE BE TO JESUS CHRIST AND GAUTAMA BUDDHA! I WAS WEARING THE RED ENSEMBLE THAT CAUGHT THE EYE OF MEL B!
SEE THE POWER OF PRAYER!
SO WE MIGRATED TO A CENTRAL TABLE WHERE EVERYONE COULD GAWK AND PASS REMARKS AND SURE ENOUGH, SEVERAL DID AS THEY SAID THEY HAD NEVER SEEN THE LIKES OF ME WHICH I TOOK AS A COMPLIMENT.
Breakfast at Tarts Cafe as Stephanie and Nicole commiserated with me over my failure to appear in The West Australian
Tarts Cafe also sells gifts
You can pick up knickers and panties and kiddies clothes after or as you dine
Stephanie my VIP minder ponders which ones to buy. I suggested the pink panty
The frilly pantie with ruffles is the one I like most
AFTER OVER-EATING, NICOLE DROVE ME TO S2 WHICH IS A HIP BOUTIQUE FOCUSING ON INTELLIGENT CLOTHES THAT SEEM SIMPLE BUT ARE NOT REALLY SO.
OWNER CHRISSIE CATLING NAMED IT S2 FOR NO PARTICULAR REASON THOUGH THE FIRST TIME I HEARD THE NAME, I THOUGHT IT WAS 'ASS TOO'. OF COURSE I WOULD THINK THAT AS I DO HAVE A 1-TRACK MIND AND AM PROUD OF IT.
Chrissie Catling, owner, designer and retailer of S2
S2 boutique at North Perth
S2 with its dramatic foliage backdrop which changes regularlybut not as regular as me
Shaye pouring J champagne with genuine 24 carat gold flakes!
After drinking 3 glasses, I am now worth my weight in gold
The effect of this WA gold champagne called J is golden!
I must ask L'Oreal Professionelle team to fix my hair and make it bi
CHRISSIE SPRUNG A SURPRISE FOR ME AND 2 OTHER JOURNOS WHEN SHE OPENED A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE. I HAVE BEEN MAKING A CAREER OF DRINKING CHAMPERS BUT THIS CAME WITH GENUINE 24K GOLD FLAKES INSIDE! I HAVE HEARD OF IT BUT THIS WAS THE FIRST TIME I SAW A GOLD-LADEN CHAMPAGNE (OR SPARKLING WINE AS THE FRENCHIES WOULD INSIST) AND GRABBED A GLASS THE INSTANT IT WAS FILLED BY SHAYE THE BOUTIQUE MANAGER.
I was mesmerised by the gold flakes floating and glittering inside ever so enticingly. I love gold as in the metal and also the colour. I bought gold watches with gold bracelets when the price of gold was US$ 180 an ounce and now it is ten times that at US$ 1,800 an ounce! Gold was then unloved and considered passe and for the bourgeois. As gold watches were unpopular many bosses offloaded them on me at ridiculous prices and look who is laughing now.
Anyway, I drank 3 glasses of champagne and was so enamoured that Chrissie Catling felt obliged to give me a bottle to take home! So sweet of her! She even advised me how to go about maximising the experience. "Do not shake the bottle but wave it to form a figure 8 or infinity sign so the gold flakes will be evenly spread from one end to the other. So when you pour this golden liquid, the gold flakes will be evenly distributed and swirl gently in the glass." she explained.
I think I will save Chrissie's gift for Christmas and the label is just called J and locally produced in WA.
Bree Maddox, owner of The Court in a sexy Herve Leger 'bandage' suit. She says, "How can anyone NOT look and feel and be sexy when wearing Herve Leger". Hello, I don't wear Herve Leger and I am sexy and horny ALL the time
Henry the bartender at The Court does not have a cleavage like his boss Bree Maddox but he is not lacking in the sex appeal department either as he shows off his assets
Henry's washboard abs and Clarke Kent/Superman looks rival his boss Bree's cleavage and there is no competition either
Shay's abs are just as great and rock-hard and the sight of me made his pants drop as per normal. I misheard his name as Shag initially which got me flustered and palpitating. Here he is rubbing a glass clean. Bet he can shake and clean out anyone
Since I don't have much to show, I keep my abs safely covered but draw subtle, discreet and hardly discernible attention to strategic body parts instead. If you have great abs, flaunt them. If not, wear a snake shirt
The dancefloor at The Court
Sprawling and kicking up my leg on the sofa, kitchen table, bathtub or bed is what I do extremely well
I was warned under no circumstances was I allowed to sprawl or open my legs asunder as I am wont to when posing with the Honourable John Day MLA, Minister for Planning, Culture & Arts, Science & Innovation.To ensure I don't do so, we had to be perpendicular and not horizontal.
With handsome top model Matthew Jelonek who models for Prada, Gucci and Louis Vuitton---ok so he is actually a photographer but I will bring him to Paris soon
Tall, lean but never mean Matt Jelonek with Kee Hua Chee. Both wear shades of blue but here the similarities end
Vanessa Wood in vintage Balenciaga and Nikita the hot young designer with Liz Davenport
Erica Allia, creative director of Martini & Coz the trendy label and partner Coz. I just love her heart bag! Check that out at www.martiniandcoz.com.au
Kee Hua Chee with Erica Allia the 'Martini' of Martini + Coz. Look at her designs at www.martiniandcoz.com.au
Front row every night for me. Here with the creative director of Martini + Coz www.martiniandcoz.com.au
BELOW ARE WA DESIGNER COLLECTIONS FEATURING BREATHLESS, CATINI DESIGNS, DANIELLE CAPUTI, ELISSA COLEMAN, EMPIRE ROSE, FENELLA PEACOCK, GARTH COOK, LIZ DAVENPORT, MEGAN SALMON, NIKKI LOUEZA, TINDALE, TOTOMOTO AND PINCHANDSPOON.
Rainier, Tindale and Andrew James
Andrew, Kee Hua Chee and Rainier
Dishy Sam Barnett, son of WA Premier Colin Barnett and blondie
Another dish
Scott-Patrick Mitchell wearing kryptonite
The 6.30pm show was the WA Designer Collections featuring Breathless, Catini Designs, Daniella Caputi, Elissa Coleman, Empire Rose, Fenella Peacock, Garth Cook, Liz Davenport, Megan Salmon, Nikki Loueza, Pinchandspoon, Tindale and Totomoto. My favourite was Totomoto as the embellishments and statement bling were impressive and unmissable from a mile away, very much like my stuff! In fact, I thought my bling was being paraded as they were that big. At last, a collection of clothes connected to golden accoutrements! Right after my own heart. Some of the accessories were removable but some were part and parcel of the dresses which I prefer. This is the fourth year the WA Designer Collections have been shown and are now an unmissable part of Perth Fashion Festival.
As usual, after the show we perambulated across the road to The Court Hotel for drinks and nibbles. I was there even before the 6.30pm show and met a gloriously sexy blonde poured inside a Herve Leger dress. She was Bree Maddox, co-owner of The Court with her husband which means she and hubby could not be gay as The Court is Perth's most fabulous gay hangout.
I complimented her on the scandalously handsome bar tenders which was out of proportion as most bars have 1 good looking bloke but here every other barman is sexy, dishy and appealingly alluring, the type you want to bring home. Bree (yes the same name as the character in Desperate Housewives and the only real life Bree I know) asked me to point who had caught my beady eye and I aimed my fingers straight to Henry and Shay (not Shag as I excitedly misheard).
Bree then ordered them to lift their t-shirts to show their abs as reconfirmation they had both bods and beauty. And so they did!
The guest of honour tonight was the Honourable John Day, Minister for Planning, Culture & Arts, Science & Innovation who seemed slightly taken aback at my attire when we were asked to pose together. To say we were like peas in a pod is stretching the truth a tad too far but the contrast was edifying.
THE AL'LKEMI SHOW
Ae'lkemi as expected put up a superb solo show and they should as Ae'lkemi was 2010 WA Designer of the Year! By the way, the public could buy tickets for both shows at A$55 per show so even if you have no contacts with the industry,you can just buy the tickets and owe no one any favour!
THE END
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