IT HAS BEEN 1 WHOLE YEAR SINCE FOXXYTNG CAFE OPENED LAST YEAR AND WITHIN THESE 12 MONTHS IT HAS GAINED FAME AND POPULARITY FAR MORE THAN A CAFE WOULD UNDER NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCES!
SUSAN LOW SPONSORED RM 50 FOOD VOUCHERS FOR RM 100 CASH DONATION FOR H.O.P.E ANIMAL SHELTER IN JOHORE SO BUDDHA AND KUAN YIN HAVE RESERVED A PLACE FOR HER IN TUSHITA HEAVEN. ALL DOG LOVERS WILL ENTER HEAVEN
But then, Foxxytong Cafe is not an ordinary cafe as it is named in honour of Dato Kee Hua Chee who is very fond of Hu Li Ching (Mischievous Vixen) and was one himself in a previous life. So that is how this charming cafe became Foxxytong. Omitofu.
Foxxytong Cafe is owned by husband and wife team, famous pixman Huey Hiew and sexy Susan Low who cooks the best chicken curry in the world. Previously Susan Low's title was 'Best Chicken Curry Chef in Town' but after last night she was elevated to 'Best Chicken Curry Chef in the World'. Congratulations and you may take out full page advertisements in The Star to announce your new accolade.
Upon arrival, I went to check Cynthia Ooi's handbag after the fiasco at Dior party when she brought a cheap, RM 200 Aldo handbag belonging to her Filipino maid instead of her Lady Dior bag.
This time Cynthia brought a Louis Vuitton Monogram bag. Not snakeskin or exotic crocodile but at least genuine as I opened her bag to examine as sometimes some wannabes buy fake Louis Vuittons. I did not see any 'Made in China' label inside so must be real though I was surprised to see so many condoms but it is better to be well prepared.
Anyway I thought this was the end of me and Cynthia as there was no drama. Wrong.
I noted she had cut her hair and sadly she looked better the last time I saw her with longer hair. Since I am the highclass, cultured and polite type, I did not say she looked terrible with her new haircut so I mentioned to Susan Low, "Cynthia looked better with long hair. Bet she paid RM 20 to some roadside barber."
Exclaimed Susan Low, "No, she paid RM 800!"
After inhaling oxygen from the oxygen tank Foxxytong Cafe keeps for such purposes, I rushed to award Cynthia Ooi with her second title. Her first title is Miss Aldo and now it is Miss Foolish.
I scolded her, "Why you paid RM 800 for simple hair cut?"
She replied meekly, "I didn't pay RM 800 wor,"
I said with relief, "Oh that's OK then. You paid RM 80 but I misheard as RM 800 as Susan Low was mumbling a bit. The market rate is RM 35 only."
Whispered Cynthia Ooi, "I paid RM 890...but it came with colouring!"
I almost pulled her hair bald. "Foolish! Your Filipino maid can colour your hair using L'oreal colorant for RM 39.90 at Watsons! You should have bought MaskSlim with your RM 890. At least you can be more beautiful!"
Estee Leong who owns MaskSlim nodded vigorously as times are bad and she needed sales to buy another Birkin.
I added fiercely as Cynthia bowed her head and started to cry. "Or with RM 890 you can buy 4 Aldo bags of different colours and still have RM 90 cash left!"
To this Estee Lauder I mean Leong commented, "Ya, that RM 90 you can belanja us supper at Petaling Street again for Hokkien cha mee!"
Corinna Tan said, "Ya, cos the last time we went, the hawker ran out of Hokkien black noodles which upset Dato Kee so much! Now you have no more budget so no Hokkien char again!"
I pointed at Cynthia's jeans full of holes. "Look at your tattered jeans falling apart---you should have used RM 890 buy new pants or some textiles to patch the holes. Like this how to match your RM 500,000 Mercedes-Benz sports car?"
Everytime I see Cynthia Ooi sure got drama. I wonder what title I will give her the next time we meet. Kerweilaiping kuanchung.
DATO KEE HUA CHEE LORDS OVER ALL WITH HIS WHITE CROCODILE BAG MORE VALUABLE THAN BIRKIN CROC BAG
NOTICE THE DANGLING LEGS OF DATO KEE HUA CHEE'S WHITE CROCODILE BAG
DATO KEE HUA CHEE SHOWS OFF HIS PRECIOUS, MIGHTILY EXPENSIVE CROCODILE BAG WHICH CYNTHIA OOI COULD NOT AFFORD TO BUY THOUGH SHE HAS A RM 500,000 MERCEDES BENZ SPORTS CAR
CYNTHIA OOI IS VERY RICH HERSELF AND HER FAMILY FROM PENANG ALSO RICH SO SHE CAN THROW MONEY LIKE THERE IS NO GST OR AS IF US$1 IS EQUAL TO RM 1. SHE IS A DIVORCEE WITH RM 48 MILLION SO MANY GOLD DIGGERS AFTER HER BUT THEY HAVE TO GO THROUGH ME WHO WILL VET THEM FIRST
CHARLESTON THE MAGICIAN, DATO KEE HUA CHEE, CORINNA TAN, MISS FOOLISH CYNTHIA OOI, ESTEE LEONG AND DUNNO WHO
WE TOLD CYNTHIA SHE SHOULD HAVE USED RM 890 TO BUY NEW PAIR OF DENIMS TO REPLACE THIS OLD, TATTERED, SHREDDED JEANS THAT ARE FALLING APART IN FRONT OF OUR EYES
ESTEE LEONG POINTS TO CYNTHIA'S HOLE IN CASE SHE SHORT SIGHTED NEVER REALISED HER JEANS IS FULL OF HOLES, SO TRAGIC
OWNER OF HU LI CHING CAFE HUEY HIEW WITH BASKETS OF REAL CHARCOAL TO PUT INSIDE THE OLD FASHIONED CHARCOAL BURNERS FOR STEAMBOAT
I HAVEN'T SEEN SUCH CHARCOAL BURNERS EXCEPT IN MUSEUMS
SUSAN LOW COOKS BEST CHICKEN CURRY IN THE WORLD
PREVIOUSLY ONLY BEST CHICKEN CURRY IN TOWN
HER PIG MEAT FOR CINA BABI IS WORLD CLASS
IRENE WONG WAS VOTED SEXIEST DRESSER SINCE ALMOST ALL CAME IN FRUMPY DRESSES RESEMBLING MY MAIDS
BEAUTY QUEEN IRENE WONG, BEAUTY KING DATO KEE HUA CHEE AND MAGICIAN CHARLESTON TURNINGPOINT
FOXXYTONG CAFE IN FULL SWING
DUNNO WHY SHE SO HAPPY AFTER KENA SCOLDING
REAL CHARCOAL AND I FEARED WE WOULD ALL DIE FROM CARBON MONOXIDE POISONING SO I MADE SURE THE WINDOWS AND DOORS WERE OPEN AS I CANNOT DIE A VIRGIN
SUSAN LOW, CHARLESTON TURNINGPOINT AND IRENE WONG
CHARLS HAS A MISSING FINGER!
WILLIAM THE WELLKNOWN SINGER DID NOT ATTEND
BUT SUPERMAN CAME
FABULOUS 1930S SHANGHAI DECOR BEFORE THE EVIL COMMUNISTS CAME
JOHN CHONG SINGS FOR US
LOOKEE AT DATO KEE HUA CHEE'S BAGGEE
SUSAN LOW OFFERS THIS ADORABLE POODLE-MIX PUPPY FOR ADOPTION BUT IN THE END THERE WERE NO TAKERS AS ALL DOG LOVERS ALREADY HAVE THEIR OWN DOGGIES
DARLING KISSES FROM DARLING DOGGIE
VANCS AND FREN
IRENE WONG AND BABY
IRENE WONG AND PRETTY PUPPY
SEX GODDESS CORINNA TAN CAME LATE AS SHE WAS DOUBLE DATING
IRENE WONG AND DATO KEE HUA CHEE
DATO KEE HUA CHEE WISHES HIS FACE IS LESS MOONCAKE
ANOTHER LOVELY COUPLE
CORINNA TAN'S FACE IS ALSO OVAL VERY DE NICE
HE THE BEST
CUTTING ANNIVERSARY CAKE
EVER EXPANDING PARTY
LOOK AT IRENE WONG'S SUPER HOT LEGS AND BODY AND FIRM BOOBS
CHARLESTON, SUSAN LOW AND PUPPY
CHARLESTON PERFORMS AMAZING MAGIC TRICKS TO ENTHRALL GUESTS
PUTTING AND BALANCING THE MICROPHONE ON SHOULDER INSIDE T-SHIRT IS ALSO CONSIDERED A MAGIC TRICK!
HE TAKES A RM 50 NOTE
AND TURNS IT INTO RM 1
POOR FRANKIE. BLAME IT ON INFLATION AND ANYWAY, OUR RINGGIT IS DEPRECIATING BY THE MINUTE ANYWAY SO THIS IS TO BE EXPECTED. BUT LUCKILY CHARLESTON TURNS THE RM 1 BACK INTO RM 50!
EACH PICKS 10 CARDS AND HIDES THEM IN POCKETS BUT CHARLESTON MAGICALLY TURNS ONE STACK INTO 7 CARDS AND THE OTHER 13 CARDS! MAGIC
VANCS GOT BACK HIS RM 50 SAFELY
ONE FOR THE ROAD
WHITE CROCODILE, GOLDEN LION, DATO KEE HUA CHEE AND CYNTHIA OOI
CYNTHIA OOI IS STILL HAPPY AFTER KENA SCOLDING
CHARLESTON TURNINGPOINT, DATO KEE HUA CHEE, CORINNA TAN, CYNTHIA OOI, ESTEE LEONG AND DUNNO HER NAME
CYNTHIA OOI'S JEANS ARE TORN AND TATTERED, POOR DEAR
EVERYONE LAUGHS AT CYNTHIA'S SHREDDED JEANS AND SAID SHE SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT NEW JEANS WITH HER RM 890 HAIR CUT
CORINNA TAN SHOWS OFF HER HAIR WHICH COST LESS THAN RM 890 TO CREATE
BUDDHA AND KUANYIN TOLD ME SUSAN LOW HAS A PLACE IN HEAVEN FOR HELPING DOGS
THE MORE PEOPLE WE KNOW, THE MORE WE LOVE OUR DOGS!
LAST SONG BY IRENE WONG
IRENE WONG'S HOTPANTS IS EXACTLY 6 INCHES WHICH JUST ABOUT COVERS HER C.B
MOST MALE ORGANS DON'T EVEN REACH 6 INCHES
ESTEE LEONG AND HUSBAND PETER
ESTEE IS PREGNANT AND WILL NAME HER SON KEE IN MY HONOUR