YOU HAVE ALL HEARD OF CAR MANUFACTURERS RECALLING CERTAIN MAKES TO RECTIFY A FAULTY PART.
Now God is doing the same...omigod!
RECALL NOTICE:
The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units
manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in
the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a
malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve,
resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent
units.
This defect has been identified as "Sub-sequential Internal
Non-morality," more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily
expressed.
Some of the symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect,
is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to
correct this defect.
The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the
entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no
additional fee required.
The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the
REPENTANCE procedure.
Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the
heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self-control
Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (BEST Instructions
Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction
voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and
problems too numerous to list, and will result in the human unit being
permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus.
DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action
will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be
permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that
facility.
Thank you for your attention!
- GOD
P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this
important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by
'Knee mail'!
Because HE Lives!
The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units
manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in
the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a
malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve,
resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent
units.
This defect has been identified as "Sub-sequential Internal
Non-morality," more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily
expressed.
Some of the symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect,
is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to
correct this defect.
The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the
entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no
additional fee required.
The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the
REPENTANCE procedure.
Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the
heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self-control
Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (BEST Instructions
Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction
voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and
problems too numerous to list, and will result in the human unit being
permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus.
DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action
will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be
permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that
facility.
Thank you for your attention!
- GOD
P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this
important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by
'Knee mail'!
Because HE Lives!
1 comment:
Wahaha...good one !
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