THE BANJARAN HOTSPRING RETREAT IS MALAYSIA'S BEST KEPT SECRET BUT NOT ANYMORE SINCE MY BLOG!

KEE@FSWMAG.COM
I AM NOW IN THE BANJARAN HOTSPRINGS RETREAT, 15 MINUTES FROM IPOH, PERAK, 2 HOURS FROM KUALA LUMPUR AND A MILLION MILES AWAY FROM STRESS AND TENSION AND HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE.

I am now typing this in Villa 11 which costs RM 1,500 a night since it's weekday and RM 1,900 a night at weekends. 

Kee Hua Chee enjoying life in Villa 11

Each Water or Garden Villa comes with its own outdoor geothermal jacuzzi AND swim pool! Kee Hua Chee swears that is a brown leaf that happened to float past his lan chiau!

This particular froggy position is the best way to get massaged from all sides due to the strategic positions of the legs. Spreading his legs has taken Kee Hua Chee everywhere...try it

Kee Hua Chee doing the split with ease

Kee Hua Chee's private openair jacuzzi



The Banjaran has only 25 villas with 16 Garden Villas with 2,808 sq ft and 9 Water Villas with 1,667 sq ft which are perfect for members of the lower classes.

I of course am lodged at a Garden Villa with 2,808 sq ft to play with and even bigger than my palatial Palladium which is 1,800 sq ft only.

The Banjaran is Malaysia's BESTESTEST and FINESTEST 5-star hotspring retreat as there is none to compare. It is also Malaysia's best boutique hotel as there are only 25 villas and it does not have a traditional ballroom that can accommodate 800 seated guests. But it does have business meeting rooms, library and restraurant named Pomelo in honour of Ipoh's most famous fruit for which it is justly famous.

The Banjaran Spa and Wellness Centre is world class and priced accordingly sad to say. I ordered the Kuush 24-carat Gold Facial and it cost RM 650 excluding tax and servcie charge but I must say it was worth it as I looked 5 years younger! Gold is the most powerful anti-aging element known to man and the indulgent process lasted 75 minutes.

It was sheer bliss as no machines were used---only human hands! My face was massaged gently and kneaded skilfully to allow the precious Kuush gold serum to be absorbed effectively. 

When I emerged from the treatment room, my face glowed with radiant life and my pores vanished noticeably. I took care not to touch or wash my face for the next 4 hours to let the elixir penetrate deep into my epidermis so my face could glow like King Tutankhamen's gold mask. 

MY GARDEN VILLA AT RM 1,900++ A NIGHT
The snake bangle is mine but the key is in the form of the green wristband! I wear it 24/7 as it is waterproof and I wore it swimming in cool, warm, tepid and hot water!

I open the wooden doors of Villa 11 and this is what I see---my own swim pool!

My living and dining room is opposite the pool so I can swim and dine in my bathers and trunks or naked!

Now you can drool over my pool and living area

Imagine looking at sky and mountains from your villa!




My living room which is semi-openair and exactly like my condo in KL

That's my dining room

My king-sized bed and my darling crocodile head bag

View from my bed!

My toes and pool view



Flash is best!

James Ng Kun Tek enjoying his private pool

Look at the stunning backdrop

My neighbour's roofs

Private pool deck

Having a drink in the pool



Every house should have one

Nothing beats a dip before dinner

Dinner table with pool view

This is the life










This is the way to enjoy life on earth



From the cool pool to hot jacuzzi with geothermal waters in the back of the garden of a Garden Villa

Water rather hot for this kuniang


Aaaaah....

The epitome of the good life---your own jacuzzi beneath a primordial mountain




Kee Hua Chee is expert in the high life

Posing like a spread-eagled frog

That's a brown leaf, not my lan chiau

Kee Hua Chee is famous for opening his legs at the drop of a hat or US$ or euros.

Doing the split is easy for Kee Hua Chee with decades of practise and experience



WATER VILLA AT RM 1,500++  A NIGHT

The Water Villas are pretty as a picture

Exquisite Water Villas




The water lilies are so pretty



Pretty as postcard



Gurgling little waterfall


The Water Villas and Garden Villas enjoy spectacular views

No other resort can boast such mountains as backyard





A charming little pondok to rest 








Kee Hua Chee



The backdrop is unreal


Looks like a lost world but this is only 15 minutes from Ipoh!




Solitary splendour

Typical view from Water Villa

James Ng Kun Tek sporting his latest Red Army hair style admiring the scenery




Award winning photo?



Look at the villa nestling below the hill! Looks like it is a movie set but this is real

I really love the desk at the Water Villa as it overlooks the pool and living area! My workdesk overlooks the wall though they conveniently place a mirror so I can admire myself

Every villa has a pomelo instead of the usual boring fruit platter! Pomelos are the state fruits of Perak and are really delicious!
I have eaten 2 whole fruits so far and Banjaran's Pomelo Mojito is fantastic

Bathroom leads straight to openair jacuzzi



Isn't it uber-cool? A sliding door separates the hot jacuzzi from cool pool!



The Water Villa is cheaper than my Garden Villa as the pools are smaller but it is very cosy and fabulous

I don't mind staying in a Water Villa but my religion dictates I am supposed to stay in the most expensive accommodation available

This is the cool pool

Living room

Balcony with water view from a Water Villa





Nice view



The black vase is unique to Perak and not handmade anywhere else in Malaysia. It is also seldom seen outside Perak

Cool pool. The hot jacuzzi tub is behind

From cool pool in front to hot tub at back!

Bedroom of Water Villa


Entrance to a Water Villa

Picturesque Water Villas

Kee Hua Chee in Bollywood pose

Kee Hua Chee in Hollywood pose

A bit of leg does no harm I always say

Leg show by the Water Villas
I must admit I look good



THE MEDITATION CAVE
The Meditation Cave within the grounds of Teh Banjaran Hotspring Retreat is a marvel of nature and exquisitely preserved

There are 3 levels for you to meditate on the meaning of life. I did and God appeared and told me I was put on earth to save mankind and everyone must worship me and donate pots of cash to Keeism

Heavenly rays of light streaming inside the Meditation Cave through a natural hole
at 3 pm

A natural cave yet easy to access with no effort needed

The painted walls look fake but the streaks iof colours are all real

Praise be to Jesus and Buddha for creating this

Kamal and Ng Kun Tek admiring the work of Mother Nature 




I cannot recover from the painted walls

Looks like a prop from Indian Jones movie but this is real!

Incredible walls streaked with alternating bands of colours



No wonder they are called watermarks

Streaky wonder


The surfaces are also very smooth and shiny from millions of years of being polished by water



Can you believe the painted walls are all real and not touched by man




Kee Hua Chee inside Meditation Cave. Note his manmade shoes and painted shirt and pants

Kee Hua Chee was created by God who also created the painted walls

Looks like bird cage or fishing trap but that is actually a concealed air blower which is activated automatically once the temperature rises due to increased number of people




James Ng Kun Tek and Kee Hua Chee

Kee Hua Chee's radiant complexion is due to the RM 650 Kuush 24-carat Gold Facial


I can sit here and contemplate for hours but I already know all there is to know in this world and the next



This overhang resembles a slab of meat or marble

Now you have an idea of size



Looks like marbled wall

Natural hole at cave top


A last look behind as I leave



Kee Hua Chee

Kee Hua Chee

Kee Hua Chee looking cool