WHO SAYS OUR ENGLISH IS NOT AS GOOD AS THE QUEEN'S ENGLISH?
HOW DARE ANYONE RUN DOWN OUR SPOKEN ENGLAND, I MEAN ENGLISH?
The whole ideal of speech is to understand each other in the shortest and fastest time possible. As we progress into the 21st century, communications becomes more urgent and frantic so we must shorten the way we talk to express our thoughts quickly.
In the ancient days, education was restricted to the King and his court (and quite often the ruler could barely get by!) and the elite. Back then, the sword was mightier than the pen and the rich and powerful had plenty of time when it came to writing. They could spend hours cogitating and contemplating what to say, couched in the most flowery and diplomatic phrases.
Fast forward a thousand years and today we sms and email endlessly, using words and universally understood abbreviations. If you don't know what is the meaning of 'fren', 'ttyl', 'lol' or 'gtg', then you better return to the cave from where you crawled out.
As for Queen's English, anyone who ever watched 'Eastenders;, 'Coronation Street' or 'Emmerdale' will be convinced no English man or woman apart from Her Majesty ever speaks proper English without the accents from God knows which shires and boondocks.
Language must evolve and over time, certain words take on different and shockingly new meaning. Did you know 'fuck' a few centuries ago meant to 'dig' as in till the earth? And 'faggots' were nothing more than a tied bunch of sticks for the fireplace? Perhaps that was how 'flaming faggots' came about!
Anyway, a Johore princess sent me this comparision between Maglish (as in Malaysian English) and Queen's English or at least proper English.
Obviously we won!
RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone from this number call for me a few moments ago? Unfortunately I was away from my desk and am now returning the call.
Malaysians: Hello, who call?
ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY
Britons: Excuse me, I would like to get by. Would you please make way and allow me to pass? Thank you so much for any inconvenience.
Malaysians: S-kew me.
WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey! Put your wallet away, this drink is on me. I insist on buying you a drink.
Malaysians: No need lah.
WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door? There seems to be no sign but since it is unlocked, I wonder if I can walk through.
Malaysians: (pointing at the door) Can ah?
Britons: Please make yourself right at home. Treat this as your own house and make yourself a drink while I get the food ready.
Malaysians: No need shy shy OK!
WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money. If you had, I am sure I would have remembered as I never forget important things, and this is considered quite serious.
Malaysians: Where got?
WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I would prefer not to do that, if you don't mind. I know different people have different tastes but for me, it is not feasible.
Malaysians: Don't want lah.
IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err...Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Malaysians: You mad ah?
WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice? I'm trying to concentrate over here and your loud conversation is proving to be a distraction so I will be grateful if you tone it down.
Malaysians: Shut up lah!
WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for sometime. Do I know you? Have we met before although I am unable to recall our meeting.
Malaysians: See what, see what?
WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
Britons: Good heavens, we seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment and this situation appears to be spiraling out of control even as we speak.
Malaysians: Die lah!!
WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just transpired as I do not comprehend what is happening at this moment?Please enlighten me quickly.
Malaysians: What happened ah? Why like that one lah?
WHEN SOMEONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: Excuse me, this isn't the way to do it. If you continue, it may actually damage the machine. However I am most pleased to show you how it is done in the proper manner. Here, let me show you.
Malaysians: Like that also don't know how to do!
WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Excuse me but I am unable to concentrate on my task at hand due to your incessant chatter and unnecessary remarks. Would you mind not disturbing me?
Malaysians: Celaka you!
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~ Dr. Seuss"