Tuesday, May 13, 2014



Subject: Meet the Sexpert-------CARE PLEASE
In the Times of India afternoon paper in Mumbai, called Mumbai Mirror, there is a column on "Meet the Sexpert" there. Some funnies below :

Q: Is it safe if penis is kept in the vagina when sleeping?

A: Usually when the penis returns to flaccid state, it will slide out of the vagina. Even if does not, be rest assured the vagina will not have it for breakfast.

Q. I am a 36-year-old man. Six months ago I had sex with a housewife. Then, I made as many as 220 strokes in the 40 minutes of our intercourse. Today, I could only reach 180 in the same time. Please reply. I am worried.

A: Do take part in the Commonwealth Games since you seem like an athlete. My advice is to enjoy the act and stop counting. Do give a thought to whether you are satisfying your partner or not!

Q: I am a 25-year-old man. My penis is short and small in diameter. When aroused, its size increases to resemble a ¾ inch PVC pipe. I have heard that there are capsules available that help increase the size. Please advise.

A: As plenty of water can pass through a PVC pipe, similarly more than enough semen can pass out of your penis.

Q: I have heard that any kind of acidic substance can prevent pregnancy. Can I pour some drops of lemon or orange juice in my girlfriend’s vagina after the intercourse? Will it harm her?

A: Are you a bhel puri vendor? Where did you get this weird idea from? There are many other safe and easy methods of birth control. You can consider using a condom.

Best of best..
Girl: I'm 19 & I'm pregnant. How do I tell my parents?
Amazing reply from sexpert:
If you can open your legs then why not your mouth?

This is perhaps the most profound philosophy I have heard in recent times:

"Life is like a penis - simple, relaxed and hanging free...   it's women who make it hard."


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